Really Big Balls

Thank the lord! Or in this godless country thank Buddha. I'm no longer in Bangkok and if I have to see another freaking wat, I'm going to recline under a bodhi tree. The biggest reclining Buddha in the world is at Wat Po. I don't know what po but I can tell you when (a long time ago) and how big (it's huge!!). You see the reason I want to recline, if I have to suffer another Wat, is because that is the position Buddha took just before entering into Nirvana. SO, and stay with me here...I was saying in a really funny way (actually not that funny since I have to explain the subtleties) that if I have to see another wat I'm going to die. Ha Ha...oh never mind. I'm now in Phnom Penh Cambodia and it is HOT. I flew into the city, instead of cycling, and that was kind of weird (and really easy). I could contrast and compare the differences between flying and cycling but their kind of obvious so I'll just say it is cooler and higher and you don't sweat nearly as much on a plane. But...it is so nice to see a city again where the horizon can be seen through trees instead of spaces between skyscrapers. The city is bustling and full of energy and dirty and smelly in places and yet feels super friendly and has a small town feel donwn near the river. Another bonus is that the horizon is kind of blue instead of this grayish dishwatery Bangkok brown thick substance that comes off on your towel when drying your face even after washing with a deep cleansing non-astringent, alcohol free product brought in from Seattle by a sister who is helping my skin attain its natural lustre. But that isn't wat (kidding) what I wanted to blog about...at all.
There is a museum in Bangkok that is so inappropriate for kids under 12, that my 10 year old (OK 11 in 3 days) was in heaven lurking around looking at photos of decapitations and eviscerations. The forensic museum at one of the hospitals near our hotel was strange and creepy with cabinets full of actual murder weapons and the bloody clothes of the victims. There should have been a "you need to be this tall to see the disgusting exhibits" sign out front but there wasn't...so all of you wanting to call CPS just relax...the nightmares only lasted for a few hours. One big crowd pleaser was the actual bodies of several murderers who had been "naturally mummified" whatever that means and their almost dry, leathery bodies were standing in some stainless steel...um...drip pans for lack of a better word. And the drip pans had some brownish goo in them of which Elliott kept trying to determine the source. On second thought go ahead and call CPS...Samantha should be home in 2 weeks or so. But it didn't just contain the remains of murderers or their victims... this was a forensic museum after all. In the pathology wing there was a model display of intestinal parasites enlarged a few milion time to the size of footballs. Feeling the effects of these bugs is bad enough but to have to look at them with suckers and tentacles as big as my head was enough to restart the cramps all over again. Elliotts favorite bizzare thing of the day (and there were many) was the photo of some poor guy who was sitting on his balls. I mean literally sitting on the biggest scrotum you never want to imagine! It wasn't even covered up...just a wrinkled flesh colored hippity-hop that swallowed his penis into an innie of an indentation. Fillariasis had messed up his lymph system and for this poor man it caused massive scrotal swelling. Even better, for Elliott that is, was the guys actual scrotum sitting in a jar (ok, a huge jar) of formaldehyde next to the photo. A beachball of a reminder that size really, really does matter...and the good news my friends is that it is definitely OK not to be the biggest on the block!
It was all kind of lightly creepy and campy and it will make for some good fireside stories for my nephew. Tomorrow it won't be so, as we go to the famous Khmer Rouge prison S-21 in Phnom Penh and then to the killing fields just outside of town. I know that this journey won't be for fun. But for tonight I am enjoying everything about this beautiful old city.