Feelin' Good!

You know that feeling when you've been sick on and off for a week and you wake up feeling really good? You tend to over-do it on day one don't you? Let's call today "day one". A week ago I had the Nausea/Vomiting/Diarrhea triad...the unholy trinity that can pour its wrath on the colons of all western non-believers. But as I became a true believer and the ring of fire that is my ass returned to its normal hand scrubbed self, I caught the upper respiratory infection that is tearing through the family running the guest house where I'm staying...cough, fever, snot. Great timing for Sheryl to come halfway around the globe to wait for me to recuperate. But the vacation from my vacation was sweet and Sheryl and I visited many Buddhist shrines, rode on elephants, floated on bamboo rafts, and did a bunch of other stuff you really don't want to read about. But today, with Sheryl somewhere over the Pacific and me with 100% colonic and respiratory fitness, I decided to ride my bike UP to Wat Than Doi Suthep.
Other than to move my slowly flabbing butt, the reason I did this was to get away from the innumerable Jesus-of Nazareths that have descended, nay, pilgrimmed to Chiang Mai recently. Really, it's weird; long brown stringy hair, scraggly beards, emaciated, dining vegetarian (although the vegan thing is never really mentioned in the bible) and wearing undyed brown burlap gowns and head scarves circa 5 or 6 B.C. There are many of these guys around and usually with a few desciples in tow...dressed similarly but with dreadlocks. And yes there is a Mary Magdeline along with them as well, although I've witnessed no actual feet washing. These are not the Khao San Road pierced and tattoo'd sketchy set, but a kind, soft voiced, smiling group of soap dodgers from the late '60's era and I find myself wanting to lay palm fronds at their feet. That or ride as fast and far away from them as possible down a steep mountain road helmetless! I just had an epiphany...THEY ARE ANOTHER REASON I LEFT KAUAI!! Just before I left the island of Kauai I saw a Jesus guy in the same uniform of brown rags (although Sheryl just updated me that someone must have donated a new sheet to him as he was kind of spiffed up at last sighting) and as I was pulling out my palm frond he squatted up against the wall of Borders Books and lit up a joint. Very disappointed that it's all just another fasion statement, I put away my frond worried he might smoke it. Maybe it's just another fasion craze here too since that new movie The Nativity has just been released, or maybe it's a sign that I need to be following. Not sure but that isn't what I wanted to blog about...not at all.
Doi Suthep is a gorgeous 14th century temple built on the spot where an elephant, carrying a relic of the Buddha, died while looking for a holy place to put the thing. I know just how the poor beast felt as I wondered what they'd build when I died of heat stroke. But thank Buddha (or his evil minions) that all the temples here have tons of food and drink stands where one can rehydrate and another can profit! I was glad the Jesuses hadn't followed me or else there might have been some serious over-turning of tables around this Wat. While drinking my second amazingly delicious coconut, I thought about how far I'd ridden today. The Wat is about X kilometers from the center of town and straight up hill with an incline of YX% bringing the ratio of meters moved forward to meters climbed to about XX:YY. In other words, my bike computer was stolen and I have no idea of any of that data. Thank God, because who really cares how fast I go or how far, and what the average speed is or how many verticle feet I've gained today (and you know I'd blog it so thank your stars). This is the kind of crap that gets in your head when you're in the middle of nowhere and it really wears on you. "Wait" you think, "how can I be so tired now, if yesterday I gained 250 more verticle feet by this time already today"? Like the way you feel is dependent on the data in a computer! And as I write this the two guys next to me in the internet cafe are getting so angry and disgusted by the slow speed of their computers that in a way the computer is controlling their thoughts and emotions...hm. When I first saw that my computer had been stolen I was so angry I cursed the thief to get multiple boils and pustules all over his body. But only a few days later I was laughing at myself and thanking the poor boil covered guy for easing my load as well as my mind. And, they say that ignorance is bliss which makes me just about one of the happiest people alive. So now I measure things in "pretty far", "very fast", "damn steep", and "no freakin way!" The climb up to Doi Suthep was a moderate "no freakin way". Moderate only because my panniers were back at home. It is a steep climb that for some sick reason I wanted to do without stopping...in the noon-day sun...wearing a surgical mask (it's not like I miss nursing that much but the air here in Chiang Mai is about as fresh as a burning Marlboro). From the base of the mountain it took an hour and ten minutes (watch not stolen!) of sitting and standing in low-low gear (bike lingo for "don't ask me how many teeth are on my chain ring...don't care") to get to the summit. It took 18 minutes of ear to ear grinning to get down. Life is good again when I can sit on my bike seat without tears of pain welling up!