The Furry Man

Lane splitting my way up to the front of the parking lot called traffic, I unclicked from my pedals awaiting the light change. You know that feeling when you know someone is staring at you...that spider sense tingling somewhere on the back of your neck? I felt it standing there in the mid-day heat and tried to pass it off as sweat pouring down my (yes unhelmeted) head. The sweat was aready streaming down my forehead and, mixed with my favorite moisturizer, into my eyes. The back of my hands were sweaty wet-wipes and totally useless in clearing the tears. Standing there in my tight lycra shorts, form fitting and very loud campagnolo billboard of a cycling jersey, surgical mask and ipod earphones it's no wonder someone was staring. I looked like a depressed, asthmatic Lance Armstrong wanna-be...with an ipod. But the woman in the car two inches from me wasn't interested in my lycra, or my shapely figure, or even my sad looking affect. She was pointing at me and laughing and saying something to her driver and pointing again. I lowered my mask and smiled and dazzled her with 50% of my Thai vacabulary. "Sawatdee Kap" (or "hello" for the logically challenged) I said. This wasn't intended to be super funny but her laughter was raucous as if I'd told her my most recent favorite joke (emailed to me by my dear friend Paul in Ohio-not mean 'torture massage' Paul. The fact that I actually laughed out loud when I read this joke indicates 2 things. 1) I have been away from home too long and 2) I desparately need people to email me more jokes... "What did the fish say when he ran into the wall? 'Dam'!") I'm laughing all over again. That one slays me. Anyway, I didn't tell her a joke at all. Her amusement seemed to come from somewhere on my body as she reached out and stroked my forearm. Had she been years...no, deacades younger it might have been a lot more interesting. But she wasn't and the gesture was just curious. I continued smiling uncomfortably at her and wondering when the freaking light was going to change. Then the source of her delight became apparent. She suddenly pinched up a batch of blonde forearm hair, tugging it until the skin lifted up all goose-bumpy. That really set her off until we were both guffawing. I reached over and rubbed her smooth hairless arm and noded as the light turned green. It was one of the weirdest, short-lived , non-verbal cultural exchanges I've had yet. Giddy local smooth skinned Thai woman has "first contact" experience with strange, hairy, crying, western man.
It just made me realize, once again, how much I like travelling and how much I like Thai and Malaysian people. If I had been in Seattle at a stoplight and some nut-bar reached out and pinched my arm hair (and I realize that by harping on this point it makes me sound like I have fur instead of skin...its a lie) I would have freaked out. The cool thing about travelling is that I'm the nut. All this craziness that is Bangkok-Chiang Mai-Thailand is normal and I'm the lycra stranger in a strange land. The other day at the airport, having dressed up for the occasion of seeing Sheryl again, I struck up a conversation with an old Thai man. After the usual niceties, he wanted to know how I liked the Thai people...concerned that I'd been robbed or taken advantage of. After ensuring him that I really like the Thais and have never had any problems, he leaned toward me and said knowingly "It's because you dress like a poor man". I looked down at my slightly wrinkled fake Polo shirt, mostly clean shorts and tattered but functional Birkenstocks, and had to admit that next to his creased polyester pants and "kings yellow" windbreaker complete with the kings emblem on the breast pocket, I looked a bit worn down. Maybe even a little sad. Again, in Seattle I might have told him to "piss off"...or at least try to defend myself by explaining the nature of this trip. Here I just laughed and thought, "Hey that's not a bad strategy for fending off theives...just look shabby!" Apparently it's worked for me so far as all I've lost is my bike computer.
God knows how many people I've offended over here ( not as many as my sister Samantha has managed to in just under 48 hours..you'll have to ask later), but that is the challenge and joy of travel. I have walked into stores or hawker stalls more times than I care to remember and enthusiastically said "Thank You!" instead of "Hello!" Never has anyone rolled their eyes or made fun of me or tried to make me feel like an idiot (I do that all by myself). They may laugh (wouldn't you?) but never maliciously. Trying to figure out cultural roadmaps is sometimes harder than figuring out the actual road maps...and I've been lost a lot over here. I wish we gave everyone we meet in daily life the same latitude and space for mistakes that we do when we travel, or that is given to us as travellers. It would be a lot more fun to laugh at all of it than to get so offended and angry. The Thais seem to understand what we don't or have forgotten. That there is no need to take all of this craziness so seriously. Relax and bust a gut over how insane this lifetime is. It is all a cosmic joke and we are all the fools. How else does one explain the Tuk-Tuk for Pete's sake?