The Boring Blog

My God, I think I've been in Bangkok too long. I'm starting to like it and today was even a little boring as I took a very enjoyable water taxi to a very enjoyable sky train to a very hot and crowded weekend market that was half tourist trap and half locals flea market. Bargained for some goodies (used down jacket and a used coat. So much for Kauai...back to WA state for me) and then went to the ultra modern mall The Siam Paragon and drooled over Maseratis and Ferraris before watching a lame movie called Aragon. Sounds like a sleeper of a Seattle day except for the heat. The only excitement came when once again I tried to order some food. There is some weird vortex of energy that surrounds my ability to order food. Actually I order it just fine I think, but what comes to my table is without exception not quite what I ordered. Point to a menu item, butcher the Thai pronunciation, repeat myself two more times and when I think the waitperson has it down, I close the menu and smile. The smile isn't because I just successfully ordered something but because I enjoy trying to guess what exactly will come from the kitchen. Somtimes it's just a question of volume like when I ordered a beer and two big fourty ouncers showed up opened and ready to drink. Do I look like that much of a lush that the waiter didn't stop to think for a minute that maybe I didn't want two monster beers right out of the gates? But then again this is Bangkok where you can walk by a table and a couple will be trying to make eye contact around a two foot tower of beer equalling 5 liters or so. So OK maybe he didn't think twice about my alcoholism. But the odds of getting it wrong every single time are kind of astonomical. I try to keep all extraneous words out to simplify things but forgot today and said "No rush, I'll just sit here and watch some soccer". The blank look I received was uncomfortably long but was then followed up with "one minute sir". He brought over another waitress to translate the fact that I "wasn't in a hurry so no rush" but it was sort of a moot point by then. The soccer match was brilliant by the way, as neither team scored. And in England that means it was a good match. In America it's called boring. Another reason it's good to not be in the U.S. right now...I can enjoy a boring soccer game. So that is all I have for now...I'll try and do something stupid and suicidal tomorrow so I can be a bit more "edgy". Merry Christmas to everyone, and to everyone a good night.