BIKER DOWN!!!

It finally happened. And in the most likely place it could have...downtown Bangkok. Hit by a car for the first time ever. Actually I've been hit before, in Seattle and Singapore, but never actually went down until a few hours ago. Today however I left my mark on a late model Mercedes-Benz before hitting the hot pavement. Hey, at least it wasn't a crappy old Toyota or even worse a sub-atomic little Proton made in Malaysia! And my mark was just really just a smudge as my hand wiped clean a section of the passenger door covered in dirt. The thing is, and I hate to admit this, I totally deserved it. I deserved getting creamed really but I got lucky (that or the Buddha is watching out for me). Today I was craving a hard ride and in Bangkok there is only one way to get it. By riding with no regard to rules or laws or personal safety...mine or anyone elses (I smacked down a jaywalker stepping between two cars today as well but he'll have to blog about that on his site). Traffic in Bangkok is legendary and today the only difference was I got to play in it instead of being stuck in it. Lane splitting, riding between lanes of non-moving cars, is legal here (I think!). As the hundreds of cars are jammed into parking lots of narrow lanes, the thousands of mopeds drive wrecklessly between them. When the space between the cars fills up with mopeds it becomes fun and adventurous to ride on the yellow line separating the opposing lanes. Like a game of chicken with potentially disastrous results, the oncoming cars swerve just enough to let my handlebars breeze by their rearview mirror. The first few times is nerve wracking and sphincter challenging but after a while it is a crack-up and I end up laughing out loud or occasionally "whooping". Take note if you want to try this sometime...when passing a bus and there is a bus in the oncoming lane...brake hard and swerve behind bus number one. Buses don't play chicken. Underpaid drivers working long hours don't really care a whole lot about me. It's nothing personal. Now, if I were driving a car I would be cussing at the absolute idiot riding like he has terminal testicular cancer that has metastisized into the reasoning section of his brain. All testosterone and no thinking (as I write that I realize it describes about 97% of men between the ages of 18 and 45 but you get my point). I can't even blame suicidal thinking as I stopped taking my anti-malarials two weeks ago. It's just adrenaline. Some people ski, some rock climb...I ride into traffic head long passing everything in my way with no regard for my life. It is immature I know and I'm not really proud to describe my behavior, but it's brilliant. And all was going great until I mis-judged a bumper by a millimeter or so and hit it with my pannier. The swerving out of control didn't last long as I went down fast using the Mercedes as a way to slow my descent. Water bottles and concerned looks were all over the place but the only thing bruised was my pride as I suddenly realized what a complete asshole I had been. I picked up my scattered gear from the middle of the road, pulled over to the side, put the headphones back into my ears (I know I know...) and thought about what a jerk I can be sometimes. Then I jumped back on my bike and passed everything in sight, laughing like a maniac at the oncoming traffic.