The Birthday Party of a King

Arriving in Bangkok at 4:30 am and assembling my bike and panniers after the night of sleepless halitosis was bad enough. But riding into the downtown darkness of the 8 lane highway, over rutted and cracked shoulders strewn with glass, while avoiding the traffic inches from my rear view mirror just topped off my 24 hour day. Crossing over Phra Pin Klao Bridge the blackness of the water below matched my mood. The city was darker than I expected it to be and I felt lost and alone as I wound my way toward Khao San Road and Backpacker Central. This is the area of Bangkok full of cheap accomodation and the type of people that like cheap accomodation. I definitely fit into that category even if I'm no stranger to an occasional shower and some soap. I knew I was getting close when I saw a white guy fully tatooed riding his skateboard down the middle of the street (dreadlocks flowing like snakes from his head) as the three wheeled tuk-tuks avoided his drunken gyrations. Khao San Road was full of trash, beer bottles and a few drunks but not much more. I rode over to Rambuttri Road which still had one bar full of young Europeans drinking hard in the never ending party of Banglamphoo district. It was 6:00am.
After a long nap I awoke to a sea of yellow polo shirts all heading toward Sanam Luang which is a huge central park near the Royal Palace and the Wat Phra Kao. By the time I got to the park there was a mass of yellow like I've never seen. Hundreds of thousands of Thais had come out to celebrate their beloved king's birthday. Almost all of them wore the kings color yellow. It was hot and humid and dusty and packed with people jostling through the narrow spaces between stalls selling any and everything. I could feel myself getting that "Oh my god let me out of here before I go ballistic" feeling. You know that one, where for football fields around you in every direction there are thousands of sweating people bumping into you until you can no longer breathe. And to get a breath of fresh air here you will have to fight your way through them all. Sweat was dripping down my legs and back and trying to get to the edge of the masses was agonizingly slow. My bike was wider than the shifting yellow path ahead. It was then that I realized that going ballistic wasn't an option. Everyone in this crowd was relaxed and cordial and polite and CIVIL to one another. My claustrophobia and ensuing panic attack was apparently not being exerienced by anyone else here. The Thais were all relaxed and patiently having a nice day at the park. I was feeling my sanity being tested and noted that it was barely passing that test...C- at best. Long yellow lines that stretched for maybe a half mile led to mystery places...bathrooms?, juice stands?, I never found out. Smaller yellow lines led to the ever present water stands, and meat-on-a-stick stands, and fake yellow Izod shirt stands, and furry-brightly-colored-animals-that-squeak-or-pop-out-their-tongues-when-you-squeeze-them-stands. I edged to the perimiter and got on my bike and merged (continually avoided being run over) into the madness of buses and tuk-tuks and mopeds...all adorned with yellow passengers. Weird to see entire city buses filled with yellow shirts and not imagining some sort of summer camp or football team outing. The city was one big lemon chiffon custard...or else I was getting really hungry. Even though yellow has never been my favorite color, it was quickly becoming one I could hate.
After another nap it was dark and mercifully cooler. Wandering aimlessly I noticed that everyone was watching TV. Store fronts were crowded for blocks with people all looking inside at the same channel. Live coverage of the big celebration. The King of Thailand was being driven down the Main streets of Bangkok as hundreds of thousands of Thais held candles. White lights dripped from the trees along the way. It was all occuring only a few blocks away and I ran toward the massive crowd. A yellow ocean lay in front of me as I came to the main boulevard. Lights and candles and a calm patience were everywhere. Then, as the white Cadalac slowly approached, blocked from my line of sight by the thousands in front of me, the crowd began standing and undulating and calling out "hello!" in very polite but excited tones as the candles were waved up and down. It was sweet to see so many people that excited yet so composed and quiet. I tried to imagine a similar experience but couldn't. Ghandi wandering through a throng of adoring Thorazine addicts gets close but that's just a weird visual.
Fireworks are nice, sure, and who really doesn't like them? But after seeing many years of fireworks displays, they have rather lost their ability to amaze or really excite me. Of course, this is only true in the event that they are detonated at safe distances from myself or large crowds. But here in Bangkok they do things a bit differently. The closer things that have the potential to kill or mame get to me personally, the less boring they become. Trucks on a freeway for example are rather boring. When they come within a foot from my bike it can be thrilling actually. Psychopaths are another example. Back home, on the fourth of July, a barge would be set up, out on the water away from people, and the fireworks would be launched a thousand feet up into the air so all could watch in safety. Risk of injury usually reduced to sparkler burns or an occasional misfired bottle-rocket. So it really did surprise and scare me when the first explosions from just across the street began. I looked over to see 15 foot columns of flames and sparks shooting up from just over the heads of the crowd on the sidewalk. The concussions from every shot could be felt deep in my chest. The proximity alone would have contituted this as one of the most exciting fireworks shows I've seen. Then, as the colorful explosions above appeared, I thought that they seemed lower in the sky than I'd ever seen. Surely there are standards and codes for the height that explosive fireworks need to be launched. That is obvious. Why then did these seem to be going off way lower than what I thought that should be? Different codes? Indifferent operators? Maybe it was just me. "Maybe not", I realized as a big green spark trail from a huge explosion fell onto some guys yellow windbreaker and set him to jumping around patting his shoulder. Every laughed at that and it was infectious. For the next half hour I was staring into the sky howling with laughter like a madman as explosions were all around me and sparks rained down, occasionally causing someone to momentarily panic. It was madness. With a wall of fire to my right and brightly colored sparks raining from the sky it was absolutely the best fireworks show in the world. Near the middle of the show, however, in mid howl, a big piece of shell casing from one of the bombs hit me in the face. I stopped laughing then and noticed that the ground was covered with coconut-shell shaped casings that were falling with alrming regularity. Then someone else almost caught on fire and we all started laughing again. Happy Birthday King Adulyadej... and many more!