Thursday, July 26, 2007

Spa ER...or Little Spa Bitch

OK, it felt good to quit and knowing there is a light at the end of the spa scented tunnel will make the next two weeks a happy place in my mind. Even if the spoiled class still continues to pamper itself to heal the pain of a cramped yacht or maybe even a bit to much sun on the skin (causing irreparable oxidizing damage which can be cured by our REJUVENATING line of skin care products), I will leave this spa scene with my head held high knowing I have helped out on some fundamental level. Like when I used to be in the ER assisting on a cardiac code that turned out well, I have helped out on some deep meaningful level with spa emergencies I never knew existed until now. It seems I'm destined to be surrounded by emergencies. In the ER we had "trauma codes". When a horrible traumatic injury occurs speed is of the essence and we would prepare the ER before the patient arrived. Here at the spa we have Drama Codes. Nails seem to be a more common but not less traumatic SE (spa emergency) than eyebrows and for that I am thankful. But still, I am getting tired of women coming in NEEDING her nails to be repaired ASAP. Nails are something I think about when I need to trim them. I never knew they could be obsessed about...incessantly for people who don't have real things to worry about. Chipping is a real issue for sure, but let's not forget the angst of scratching or smudging either. And when I have to deliver the bad news that we don't 'do' acrylics (not that I know what that really means) it is never received well. So while these are true emergencies and something I don't want to discount, they are like level one emergencies compared to the level two emergencies of eyebrows. But neither of these comes close to the level of a bridal party crisis. I suppose if my folks were spending $100,000 on my wedding I could be more empathetic but it's really hard when bridezilla and her minions come in knowing that her wedding will be just the best wedding ever but could be totally ruined if her toenails aren't absolutely perfect. When they all come in stressed and on edge, I somehow care just that much less. That attitude makes me want to pull a Nancy Reagan and "just say no". "Oh I'm sorry, did you NEED a 2:00 pedicure?" "Hmmm, and pictures are at 3:00?" "We could squeeze it in at 3:00..can you ask the photographer to wait an hour or so?" The ensuing look of hatred/panic I get is so much more valuable than the tip I just lost. Priceless.
OK, so I'm a passive aggressive little spa bitch. I know that.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I do admit: I got my toenails done right before I got married...altho, we didn't tell anyone we were getting married- not even the spa bitch! So tell me- did you notice strange names for nail polish? I got "Don't Wine- Yukon Do It"...for real!! My boss got "I'm Not Really A Waitress". Whoever works in the nail polish naming department must be getting bored. Oh, James! Only you could get me going this early on a Saturday morning. Better than coffee!

Anonymous said...

I clipped my toenails before my wedding. At least I assume I did since they weren't poking through my socks or anything.

The more I read about your clients, the more I want to turn that place into the Roche Hotel, where "the rich check in but they don't check out."

-Steve

Anonymous said...

i can imagine you start getting seriously frustrated in such an environment. what was it that made you apply for a job there in the first place at all??

Anonymous said...

Oh James...so good to have you back. Hey, do you think you could squeeze me in? My eyebrows NEED threading! hahahaha

Tanja

Anonymous said...

Very funny especially since I work with you, I completly understand your frustration with the spa experience, being on the other side of the counter we see the drama of the customers and the people who work here. All I can say is the world is not going to come to an end if you can't get an appointment or if we didn't meet your fithly rich standards.

Anonymous said...

Cake Eaters! ...that's the term. We now have a word to call them. My family recently came to the island and were also "impressed" :( by the number of people who felt entitled to have whatever they wanted whenever they asked for it.

The "it" was usually along the same lines as an emergency Starbucks latte or "fast-food" (gag) emergency Big Mac.

They likened this type of Marie Antoinette "Let them eat cake." type attitude to their behavior.

So when you;re not sure what to call this type of person, just call them cake eaters!

Anonymous said...

Of course you got a spa bitch job after almost dying in a jungle! Ying Yang, man! Now it's time for a healthy middle. You can do it!

Roberto Iza Valdés said...

LOL!

Anonymous said...

Let's put this all in perspective...you became a, you said it, "Spa Bitch" because you suffered a tragic accident which not only crushed your wrist, but your new massage therapist career. How about a 'lil gratitude for your Spa Bitch position to carry you through the emotional crushing time? At least you had the extra coupla dollars to put towards the $20,000 debt you got yourself into. Blaming will get you nowhere.